bloom.

Happy new week! I wrote this awhile ago & so much has changed since then, but today it felt fitting to post it. What I mention at the end of this initial post is something I have continued to experience ever since, but it’s not a coincidence.

{August 10, 2014}

Life is mysterious. My entire life transitioned recently in less than a week’s time. I think it’s awesome & altogether intimidating. Isn’t that typically the case? We constantly whine & desire change, yet when it pops up we’re reluctant to run full speed toward this oppurtunity we’ve been dreaming about. I’ll admit it, I’m a little ironic.

commuter morning

 

The change? I’m starting a new job next week & it couldn’t have come at a better yet unexpected time. I was feeling a little lost & complacent, wondering where I should look next. Over the last 8 months or so, I’ve had interviews for three different jobs & I bet you could guess I didn’t get any of them (you smartie, you). Two of the three jobs were exciting prospects, one was a “why not” kind of situation. This “why not” opportunity presented itself to me, but it wasn’t something I would necessarily have choosen for myself. Luckily, I wasn’t offered that job & I thank the Lord everyday for that. A lot of scandalous things came out of the job & I’m glad I wasn’t the one who had to deal with them.

One of the other job prospects was within the financial industry, which is the same I’m currently in (but soon leaving! Yipee!). I was extremely considering this prospect because the company was awesome & small, but ultimately it wasn’t a good fit.

Then… oh man, you guys… I had my ultimate fantasy dream job interview with a creative company doing admin work. Seriously, this position was the perfect amalgam of my admin skills & arts education. Man alive, would that have been amazing! But it wasn’t in the cards either. The job was in Colorado Springs, more than an hour’s drive from where we live. My husband & I even considered moving down to the Springs if I was offered the job – we were that devoted to the idea of this job & company. The folks I interviewed with were pretty reserved about the commute I’d have to commit to for a while. I completely understood where they were coming from, but… My heart still slightly aches when I think about not getting this opportunity. I trust God in not letting that job come into fruition, but struggled with accepting it for awhile.

I digress. This all led me to an incredible opportunity doing admin with a travel nursing staffing agency. I’m excited to explore & learn more about this field. And really, I couldn’t be more stoked about starting something new! Sometimes, something new is exactly what a soul needs to repair itself. In the recent past, I haven’t grown in my personal life as much as I’d like to & it’s bothered me for awhile. There’s so much in the world to explore, but I found myself with little motivation to let myself do that. I won’t attribute this to my career choice, but I can’t say it wasn’t partly a cause either. All I can truly say is I already feel myself brightening again. And damn, does it feel fantastic. I just want to soak in a bathtub full of these good feelings.

A few things have already come about that are threatening to stifle my excitement, but I know I’m stronger than that. I know I’m the only one who can control how I respond to these attacks on my happiness. I’ve decided to deal with the pieces I can control & ignore the parts I cannot. I am allowing myself to feel this joy and not feel guilty about it.

Boom boom pow!

{end.}

And so, attacks on my happiness are recurring – today is no different. The universe can be quite cruel, but I’ve never gained anything by letting it tear me down. Instead, if I continue to combat the negativity that swirls around me, I win. Even if it’s a little victory, it’s a monumental achievement to let my soul flourish & bloom amongst the junk & flimflam around me. Bloom, soul, bloom away!

dat sunrise doe

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s