Beyond any efforts made to attempt an organized life since my last post, my life still looks the same. On the up side, it feels different. Mind over matter is definitely a thing. While the concept is overused in the world of fitness, it belongs in other areas of our lives as well.
Take, for instance, organizing and storing Jack’s baby clothes by month. I put that off for weeks upon weeks, and then added even more weeks to my procrastination. Because: a) ugh; b) eye roll emoji; c) temper tantrum gif; and d) I’d much rather do the dishes. So that’s what I did. The dishes.
Dozens of times.
One day, this laundry monster attacked me. I wasn’t about to let it overtake me, so I told my brain to get over it. And I slayed that laundry monster so good. Just like that, I took over the beast. Next stop, taking over the world! Or something less Pinky and the Brain.
All this to say, when I decided to stop letting this monumental task bug me out, I was free. The power was within me all along (and perhaps the coincidental external deadline of someone coming over to babysit gave me a nudge, too. I didn’t want them to think I’m an unholy mess :). That’s our little secret.). It didn’t even really require that much convincing myself to get it done, either. I just did it.
How often am I overthinking things to the point of stagnation? Or as Gretchen Rubin calls it in her book The Four Tendencies, Analysis Paralysis. I like to weigh my options, think of possible outcomes, view scenarios from different angles, ask questions. Now, I’m not talking about organizing clothes, am I? I’m referring to life’s buffet of choices.
If I had my druthers, I’d prefer doing it all. And that’s exactly where I get off track — lack of focus. I touched on this in my last post. The vitality of adopting a focus, though temporary, will enact a calm sense of direction in my current circumstances. My interests range from writing to healthy living to home improvement (not Tim Allen, but hammer and nail) to cooking to interior design to photography to traveling to finding good food (but I will never call myself a hastag-foodie because it’s hashtag-overused. I enjoy eating amazing food that tastes delicious, was thoughtfully prepared, and looks like an artful masterpiece, too; but that doesn’t make me a foodie.).
The significance of this project is so salient and palpable. It seems the sooner I take the reigns on my main direction aside from everyday commitments, the sooner I will feel more centered. As of now, I kinda go wherever the wind takes me. While having no direction is pleasant for a little bit, it can’t go on forever. I’m not a good enough cook or housekeeper to call myself a stay-at-home mom. And my other various pursuits don’t elicit a title, either.
As Jack just closed out his first year of life last week, it’s time for me to adjust my sails and catch the wind. I used to think I was a jack of all trades (pun sorta intended), but I don’t know if that state of mind will serve me in the coming future. I’m ready to hone in on some passions of mine and really develop myself in those areas. Namely, I’m really excited to start writing more.
Now, if only I could cut it out with the analysis paralysis already and make some moves… Because, quite honestly, I have no idea what writing more will look like for me.
P.S. Not much of this next little side note has anything to do with the above. I saw a pin on pinterest that listed out a schedule to plan your baby’s first birthday, and it started at least 8 weeks in advance of the party date. 8 weeks! Lolololololololololololol guuuurrrrlllll, please. That sounds ridiculous. I love my baby boy to pieces, but he won’t even remember his first birthday. I’m saving that planning time for when this kid remembers his birthdays. Then maybe I’ll pull out all the stops and hire a Spiderman impersonator to come web the party with silly string, have a petting zoo, and have the Wiggles perform a set for us (are the Wiggles still a thing?). We all know the first birthday, maybe even second, and quite possibly the third are for the parents. Like “Hey, we made it, let’s throw a party!!!”
I digress. Keep me in your thoughts, prayers, and good vibrations as I develop my focus on writing.